Blog Posts from "First Entry, Last Entry"

Hellgate: London - Exodus, A Book Review

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:02:09 -0500

The library is a great place to find something new to read. It's often difficult to know where to go next when you've exhausted the available material by an author, but the library is a constant source of new possibilities.

Recently I found the Hellgate: London novel "Exodus" in one of the rotary paperback sections. Back when Hellgate: London had just been released, I remember hearing how the story was really told in the tie-in novels, rather than through the game.

Hellgate London: Exodus

The book opens nearly 2 decades before the events depicted in Hellgate: London itself. Many of the Templar order have just made the ultimate sacrifice, giving their lives so that the demons spewing forth from the Hellgates may believe them defeated once and for all.

This is the first stumbling block for Hellgate: London: Exodus. While the Templar make a great sacrifice that night, only in words do the other Templar respect what they did. The surviving Templar make little attempt to hide their presence.

While it may have been difficult to write a book in which the main characters spend all their days indoors, the book could have been less combat orientated. When hiding from demons, the best tactic is not to engage them at every opportunity.

This could, of course, be the influence of Simon Cross. Simon begins the book in South Africa where his prowess with a blade is demonstrated against poachers that attack the tour group he is leading.

Events lead Simon back to London and the demon invasion. Simon is never really given much of a backstory or consistent personality over the course of the book. The only real thing that stays consistent with Simon is that his answer to everything is gratuitous violence.

Decisions he makes throughout the book are mostly noble, if predictably blockheaded. He makes decisions with his incredibly fickle heart, as opposed to his brain. A combination of the two would have greatly enhanced Simon as a character. As it stands, he comes off as a 2-dimensional character who will do the "good thing" regardless of how that effects those around him. He has no tact.

The same can be said for Warren Schimmer, Hellgate: London: Exodus's resident Cabalist. While Simon had very little depth, Warren is even more poorly fleshed out. He is given a token 'tragic past' that is referred to throughout the book as if it's something that could not have been covered in the original paragraph that it takes place during. Again and again the book returns to this quickly tiring past. All this brooding over his past causes Warren to be an incredibly irrational character prone to bizarre rages and emotional flip-flopping.

Similar to the lack of depth in the characters, the storyline itself takes 350 pages to get anywhere. By which time it's just too late to salvage it. The 70 or so remaining pages become far more purposeful, but the damage is done by this time.

What is consistent throughout the book is the terrible writing. I can only assume that this was taken from a scanned hand-written manuscript using character recognition technology and then never checked through as an electronic copy. While words are mostly proper english ones, they often make no sense. "hack" appears instead of "back". "lie" appears where "he" should be, "oven" instead of "over" etc.

Hellgate: London: Exodus showed promise late on, but ultimately was a rather unrewarding read. Avoid it, even as a free borrow. It may be a little late to warn any of you, but hey, nobody warned me!

Dragon Age: Origins Announces Return to Ostagar DLC

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:24:57 -0500

Update: Return to Ostagar now appears on the English addon site, although with a less than spectacular description (yes, the Engrish was preferable!)

Your memories of the battle of Ostagar will haunt you for years to come. It laid waste to your order and claimed the lives of many great men and women, including the brash young King Cailan and your mentor, Duncan.
Now, there are rumors that a fellow survivor of the battle has escaped from captivity and is seeking the Grey Wardens' help. The time has come for the Grey Wardens to make their return to Ostagar and exact their revenge upon the darkspawn.
A return to the battlefields of Ostagar, now thick with darkspawn encamped amidst the snow
An opportunity to reclaim the lost arms and armor of a king
A second chance to add Dog to your party

At only $5 it seems like the trend of 1 hour of gameplay with a new sword and armour set will continue. Is that bad? No. But I certainly would prefer them to concentrate on bigger expansions!

Return to Ostagaru will be available at a price 135, - CZK PlayStation ™ Store, 400 points BioWare on PC and 400 Microsoft Points for Xbox 360 DLC will be released before Christmas this year in versions for Xbox 360 and PlayStation ™ 3 and PC platform. Degree Dragon Age: Sources has a 18 + PEGI rating.

For more information about Dragon Age: Sources visit www.dragonage.com.

Beneath A Steel Sky released for iPhone

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:47:11 -0400

Wow. Just wow. I get to make an on-topic Beneath a Steel Sky post!

Classic point-and-click adventure game Beneath A Steel Sky has been slightly updated for the iPhone, with updated cutscenes audio and control scheme.

Personally, from what I've seen of the updated cutscenes for the iPhone version, I would just play the free PC version that comes with the SCUMMVM emulator (it's in the downloads section). What were once quite gritty and grim looking cutscenes now look cartoonish in comparison.

I'm feeling ill and lazy though so basically: go read about it's lovliness at Kotaku

$5 at the app store, or just download the PC one from scummvm (it's completely legal, Revolution gave SCUMMVM their blessing ages back).

Either way, if you haven't played it and you like ye olde adventures, give it a shot. Christ, even if you have played it, it's worth playing through again. I know I go back to it every few years.

If you buy it, perhaps they'll even get around to making Beneath A Steel Sky 2! (and ruining it, no doubt)

Thanks EA!

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:52:33 -0400

While I'm not one to dislike a game or a franchise simply because the EA logo appears on its box, there are certain things that will set me off into an anti-EA tirade.

Take for instance: suggesting that if I'm not excited by their fall line-up then there's something terribly wrong with me.

Thanks EA. Yes, I'll admit it. I'm an emotional minefield, with a list of issues only surpassed by the problems in your yearly edition of FIFA for the PC.

Now that you've diagnosed me via email, where do I go for the treatment, Dr EA? Surely there is hope for me. There must be a clinic you can check me into, right? The special place you send people who aren't interested in games, right? Don't just leave me hanging like this, EA! Help! I'm so hollow without Need for Speed Shift in my life!

You're Doing It Wrong!

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:56:05 -0400

Sol's recent entry about a method to complete any level in Scribblenauts with a combination of just 2 items ties in quite nicely with my game of choice recently, and my memories of it from way back when.

The game in question is Commandos: Beyond the Call of Duty, the standalone expansion for Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines. Commandos, for the uninitiated, is a series of World War 2 based stealth action games, featuring a group of specialist soldiers, each with a unique method of taking down those pesky German soldiers.

While each of the soldiers carries a sidearm, and some even carry larger weapons, like a sub-machinegun, the emphasis of the game is on the use of stealth weapons, in order to not set off the alarms and unleash swathes of heavily armed German patrols into the area.

Whether by knife, harpoon, or lethal injection, enemies should be taken out silently, swiftly, and out of sight. When you're playing the game well that is.

Playing the early Commandos series again brings back memories from my childhood. Big fat cheating memories. Well, not cheating so much with this game, as I had grown out of my infinite money in Theme Hospital phase, and moved on to looking to play games as they were intended by their developers.

So not so much cheating, as just going about things all wrong. While it was nice of the developers to include guns in Commandos, it just no longer seems at all right to use them, and I look back on my younger self with a certain disdain for having ever felt them necessary.

It probably stemed from being quite an impatient child, with a rather slow PC that meant "quick save" and "quick load" most definitely deserved the air-quotes I mentally applied to them.

Why reload on failure, when it's just as easy to hide around a corner with all your commandos, sidearms drawn, and wait as the bumbling german army come round one-by-one into firing range?

Sure, it worked, but was it the proper way to go about things to get the most enjoyment out of the game? Just like with the Scribblenauts two item method - no.

Most of the fun in Commandos comes from the meticulous planning. My young-self's method of guns blazing robbed me of 90% of the fun of Commandos. Watching your target, watching the movements of his comrades, avoiding patrols, checking lines of sight, and ultimately slicing his throat and leaving nothing but a bloodstain where he used to stand, before depositing his body around a corner, or under a barrel. Perhaps even both, just to be safe.

If you set the alarm off, half of the fun is out the window straight away. Say goodbye to planning, and hello to 3-man machinegun patrols.

The fun in Scribblenauts is thinking of inventive ways of getting the star in the given situation. Of course you can use cheap methods to acheive this, but you're only cheating yourself. While others entertain the internet with their tales of zombie-pirate-robot antics, the vending machine exploiter has but one tale to tell.

Shock: Study Finds Gaming Improves Vision

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:30:52 -0400

Daily Mail, known throughout the UK for their impartiality and exceptional reporting (yes, please do laugh), have picked up on another study into gaming.

What, pray tell, have they found someone looking into this time? Whether Viva Pinata turns children into maniacal donkey beaters? The Sims produces terrible architects (that would explain a few of the buildings over here)? Perhaps it's Audiosurf encouraging speeding.

No. For once it's actually... positive. Gaming improves vision. Wow Daily Mail. Just wow. By the end of the article they have not even tried to turn it into something negative. Kudos DM. Kudos.

For the study, the team divided 22 students into two groups. One group played the action games Call of Duty 2 and Unreal Tournament 2004.

A second played The Sims 2, a game they said does not require as much hand-eye coordination. The two groups played 50 hours of their assigned games over the course of nine weeks. At the end of the training, the action game players showed an average of 43 per cent improvement in their ability to discern close shades of grey, while the Sims players showed none.

Well-practiced action gamers became 58 per cent better at perceiving fine differences in contrast, Daphne Bavelier of the University of Rochester in New York said. The finding, which appears in the journal Nature Neuroscience, may help people who have trouble with night driving.

Playing computer games can improve your eyesight, Daily Mail

So there you have it. A gaming story that does not focus on a crime commited because of their "influence". Wonders never seize to amaze me.

BFG: Break From Gaming

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 16:39:58 -0400

Other than playtesting Off-Limits for an hour every other Sunday, I find myself pretty much gaming free for a change.

While it hasn't been replaced with anything spectacular, there are little things that more than make up for the time not spent rarely talking on Left 4 Dead.

Keeping up with the goings on over here is one of the things that fill my spare time, as is the glory of Flickr. Finally, a web 2.0 site that involves very little actual useful information, yet remains interesting and fun.

It's been in the back of my mind for a while now, with people showing me the odd picture here and there, but it wasn't until recently that I started to truly explore some of the wonderful images that people manage to capture.

My shoddy camera itself and lack of photography experience leave me on the way side, but that's not an important factor in my enjoyment of this site. Just seeing, commenting and favouriting the various visual treasures on Flickr make it a worthwhile experience.

The reason I joined Flickr was to comment on an MSN contact's pictures. Through a combination of her natural eye for a photo and living in and visiting some truly stunning locations throughout her life, she's collected a small collection of quite exceptional photography.

I may be slightly biased on account of having talked to her for many years, but I thought I would share with you some of the beautiful photos she's taken that have given me a new appreciation of photography.

You get the idea, I'm sure. She has a few more over on her Flickr, and I'm sure she would love some favourites and positive feedback, but she's not the sort to blow her own trumpet, so I thought I would lend her my lungs for a little while. They were doing nothing else

50% Off Left4Dead this weekend

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:23:43 -0500

I posted this over on the L4D section, but it applies here too as we've had quite a few L4D discussions that I remember:

---

Just thought I would give a heads-up for anyone on the PC who was waiting for a significant price reduction before jumping on the good ship Left4Dead.

This weekend is our time, brothers!

Steam Powered Store

That is all.

L4D 50% off this Weekend

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 19:15:14 -0500

Just thought I would give a heads-up for anyone on the PC who was waiting for a significant price reduction before jumping on the good ship Left4Dead.

This weekend is our time, brothers!

Steam Powered Store

That is all.

Suicide Survival, Crazy Mod for Half-Life 2 / Source

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 05:38:12 -0500

It's no surprise that this game is littered with Monty Python references. It's zany, it's out there, it takes a special kind of lunacy to even imagine such a game.

Suicide Survival is your classic tale of man vs the wild, if that classic tale happened to be read by someone taking halucinatory drugs. The shrub team are tasked with sneaking up on the gardener team and exploding themselves. The only defence the gardeners have against such sinister shrubs is a book of Barbara Bush's gardening tips. It only takes one surprisingly bouncey edition of this book to put an end to a shrubs evil intentions, but it's easier said than done.

With the books in limited supply and the shrubs being of far greater number, there's no way the TF2 "flame test" can work, which prevents cheap evil shrub finding tactics. While not all shrubs can move (and explode), on the larger servers there can be 10 or more shrubs to contend with. It's incredibly hard work for the survivors, which is probably the games only real bad point.

While sneaking around as a shrub when the gardeners aren't looking is a lot of fun, there's always a feeling of guilt in the back of your mind. It's so much harder and less enjoyable to be a gardener than it is a shrub. You're slower, once the shrubs speed boost skill is taken into account; you're an instant target - there's no standing still to keep shrubs from spotting you; and nobody wants to play on the gardener team, so you'll probably be going up against 12 or so shrubs with your team of two or three gardeners.

It's a shame, because playing on the shrub team is a lot of fun. It's just so ridiculous and laugh-a-minute to play with the minds of the gardening team and see how close you can get to them before they realise what you are.

It's worth the 40mb download just to play for a couple of hours. It will surely get tiresome after a while, but for the moment this is a fantastic little time waster.

Info about SS
Download Suicide Survival (1.1)

Note: thanks to Sol or whoever managed to retrieve this article from the depths of wherever it sneaked off to (disguised as a shrub, no doubt).

Off Topic: Happy New Year

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 05:24:52 -0500

So we've ticked our way into another year again.

GameDamage, new show with Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:04:31 -0500

If you've watched Yahtzee's review of Sonic Unleashed, you might know this already, but if you're like me and usually close out the very second he's finished talking in order to avoid the needlessly loud outro you might have missed it.

Yahtzee is one of three Australians starring on screen (well, your monitor) in a new show "Game Damage". While I have a slight issue with Yahtzee's lifeless expression through it all, the show is actually okay.

The first episode is informative without the huge bias usually seen in the mainstream gaming press. They actually say that a game in development feels like it could use a bit of work!

There are some sketches in it as well. Master Chief on his travels around... I dunno, somewhere in an Australian mall it looks like, along with a couple more gaming based skits.

It's not got the humour of Zero Punctuation and to me Yahtzee comes off as lifeless and dull when he's on the couch, compared to his ranting self on ZP. After watching it through a few times I've come to the conclusion that apart from the sketches, the entire thing would work much better as a podcast.

Maybe I went into it expecting a little too much funny. As an informative show it works great, as a funny one... not so much.

I hope it's picked up by a sponsor. It has a lot of potential, especially considering all this has been done with just the help of uni students, if the credits are anything to go by. Impressive production!

Slightly Drunk Writings: Zombie-Style

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 22:56:48 -0500

I enjoy writing, but rarely do I feel inspired enough to really put my mind to it. I always get bogged down in soppy rubbish and things that seem half-decent when I've had a drink or two. Not wanting to break from that tradition: here's my take on zombie/incident/apocalypse style fiction. Whether this will ever go anywhere I don't know, but I amused myself for a little while.

Inspiration for this was Project_Xii's writing and just a general desire to try my hand at writing in an end-of-world type scenario.

I'm sure I'll eventually find a way to turn this into a complete emo-fest, but for now:

James stretched wearily and rubbed the Sandman's work from his eyes, depositing it on his jeans. After another drawn-out and vocal stretch, he opened his eyes.

The television had lulled him to sleep on the sofa once again. Still half blind, he made his way towards the cramped shower room and toilet, bowling through his amassed beer cans. From the sound of it, it was a strike.

James splashed water on his face and finally managed to fully summon his sense of sight. Grabbing the razor from the sink, he contemplated shaving for a moment and then returned the razor to its original position amongst the grime. He figured he had another couple of day's growth before shaving was required.

He ruffled his hair a little in the mirror. He was already impressed with its unkempt look, so little effort was required today. He sniffed at the underarms of his t-shirt and brushed off unnaturally orange crumbs of something he could not remember eating. Snatching a can of deodorant from the table beside the sink, he sprayed a sufficient amount of it all around himself from top to bottom. The shirt would do for another day. Perhaps it would do for the entire week.

Exiting the bathroom he steered the spilled cans off of the highly worn path to and from the sofa with his foot and sat back down. He fished a mobile phone from his overly-tight jeans pocket and stabbed at a button, illuminating the back panel.

8:27.

Three minutes and then he would leave. It was the last thing he wanted to do. The horror outside was something he never wanted to face, but he had to. Food was running low, and "“perhaps more importantly -- so was the beer. He slapped the sofa cushion and the television remote leapt obediently closer to him. One more hit and it was in his hand. He flicked quickly through the channels. Nothing. Nothing. More nothing. It was always nothing these days.

His phone buzzed, alerting him that the three minutes had already crept by. He stood up sharply and readied himself for action. He was straight to the door; he lifted his jacket from the hook beside it, slipped it on and exited.

He moved swiftly along the corridor, checking periodically that nobody was following him, but never once slowing down until he reached the elevator doors. He jabbed a knuckle into the "˜call elevator' button and waited nervously. He had attacked the button four more times before he heard the approaching hum of the elevator. As the doors began to slide open he closed his eyes and mentally crossed his fingers. As the doors clunked fully open, he took a peek.

God damn it, he thought. There was a small pool of blood on the floor, it was possibly already dry, but James did not feel like checking. Someone had also defecated in the elevator. It looked and smelled surprisingly fresh. Animals, he thought. James reluctantly stepped inside and instructed the elevator to head to the ground level. He wondered what delights awaited him down there.

And so he rode the elevator all the way to the ground floor. He did not make conversation with either the faeces or the blood. The doors clunked once more, and James exited as quickly as he could. He had decided half-way down that he would make a dash for the main entrance as soon as those doors would allow him. Travelling as fast as he could without breaking into a jog, he could see the exit ahead of him. It seemed so far away, and in between there could be so many Dark things lurking in the shadows.

He swore under his breath as a growing sense of panic overcame him. Damn, damn, damn! He was not going to make it; they would emerge from the depths of hell and drag him down into their Dark world. Screw it, he decided. He ran as fast as he could towards the door. Their demonic whispers became louder, their claws scratching menacingly at the concrete floor; it set James's teeth on edge. As his heart beat faster, so did the drums of the horde. Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang! The light outside the doors seemed to fade, as if the sun itself was afraid of the creatures lurking inside. Oh that's fine. You just save yourself, Sun, James chided it.

As he conversed with the Sun inside his head, he felt his foot snag on something. His heart jumped. For a moment it seemed as if time itself had almost ground to a halt. Even the sound of the horde grew duller for that moment. Then his face met the door with such force that he managed to continue on through it before landing on the paving slab outside.

James had no time to decide whether he was injured or not, he kept going. Now that he had made it outside he headed for the car park. He never knew whether his car would still be there, but it was his only hope. It had to be there.

Now out in the light, a good distance away from the building, he brushed himself down and resettled his clothes as he walked, still at a fair pace. As he neared the car park he thought he could see the tiny hatchback where he had left it, but he dared not believe it completely until he was inside. As he got closer he could see that the boxy red car was in around the same state as when he had left it last -- a good sign that this was indeed his car.

James let out a huge sigh of relief as he settled down into the battered faux-leather seat. His one life-line was still here and still in one piece. He checked the backseats for anything that might have made its way into the car overnight. Finding none, he put the key in the ignition and started the car. It choked a little, but eventually came to life.

He drove calmly. He was in his protective box now, and his protective box could go at sixty miles per hour if he needed it to. Not strictly legal, but nobody cared about legality these days. There was Good and there was Evil. It was that simple.

As he drove, he kept his sight locked ahead. The less he saw of what was at the side of the road the better. Creatures lined the roadsides. They scuttled along, not interacting in any way. They rarely even looked at each other and there was an obvious air of contempt amongst them.

The Darkness inside them commanded. It was strong and omnipotent, but it was waiting. James did not know what for, but he was grateful for whatever was holding it back.

Occasionally he would spot someone in the crowd that he felt he connected with in some way. While doing their best to fit in with the creatures, it was as if they had an aura of Light around them. While there was no literal aura -- James prided himself on not being completely insane -- it was as if a sixth sense allowed him to spot those that did not belong.

Today he saw one of them. She was surrounded by the Dark ones and her face was locked in a mixed state of fear and hatred, yet deep down, James knew she was not of them. She was blending in. James felt incredibly fortunate to have his car. To be out amongst them -- the very thought of it -- chilled his spine. He was overcome with a sense of admiration and respect for her. The thought of stopping and helping her crossed his mind suddenly, but was gone just as fast. It was a ridiculous notion.

She would not accept help from him and he knew it. While he had a sense that directed him to those of Light, he himself was most definitely one of the creatures he so feared.

James clicked the indicator down and pulled right into the supermarket car park. It had once been a glorious hub of activity. People would shop, talk, and generally enjoy themselves. There was no chance of that now. The Darkness did not allow such things. Now it was simply Tesco.

James grabbed his gym-bag from under the passenger seat and locked the car. Slinging the bag casually over his shoulder, he tried to draw as little attention to himself as possible. He kept his head down and just walked. As long as he did not make too big a ripple he would be okay. He headed for the sliding doors and they hissed open as they sensed him coming.

"You're two minutes late!" said Gerald the store manager.

"It won't happen again, boss," James promised. It always happened again.

The Sins of Digital Rights Management

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:57:04 -0500

is becoming more and more tedious with each new generation of hardware, software, and DRM. Painful for whom, though? Painful for those who actually buy the games.

People who steal games will have a much easier time of it with DRM, and why might that be? Because they will simply never encounter it. For the most part, the DRM that nags and hinders legitimate users is stripped from the software before the game is even released on day zero, as it were, by software crackers with nothing more than a couple of spare hours on their hands.

While the need to protect the DVD from simple copying and burning is understandable in the short-term, one must ask why it is even necessary for DRM to incorporate drastic measures such as hardware change restrictions and install limits. Once the protection has been removed by software crackers and their release groups, the war is only against legitimate customers.

diii.net, Win Things

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 20:22:23 -0500

Just a heads up on a competition running at Diii.net's network daddy IncGamers:

Prizes

First prize: Philips Games Kit with a copy Imperium Romanum Gold and Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition.

Second prize: Sapphire ATI Radeon HD 3850 / 512MB DDR3 / AGP 8X / Graphics Card with a copy of Imperium Romanum Gold and Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition.

Third prize: a copy of Imperium Romanum Gold and Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition.

Easy. All you need to do is post a comment in the Imperium Romanun forum thread. Say hello, tell us what you like about Imperium Romanum or amuse us with a witty one-liner, its up to you.

Rules

* All entries must come via the forum and be posted within the Imperium Romanum thread.

* All entrants must be from the UK only and not Commonwealth states.

* Only winners will be notified.

* All comments must be posted on the thread before midnight on 14 December.

I really hate their forum software.

Living Under A Rock: Spoony Edition

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 04:48:31 -0500

That's quite a large difference in popularity for 2 users who've been on YouTube for around the same amount of time. Sure, some of Spoony's videos are quite popular on Revver and Blip (think YouTube, but with shared ad revenue for video creators), but still only at the 60 thousand and below mark.

So what gives? This guy is hilarious and he's not half as foul-mouthed as James Rolfe's Video Game Nerd. Maybe I answered my own question right there. Is the swearing all that really makes AVGN as popular as it is?

I know I enjoy Rolfe's videos for the review content, even if it's all exaggerated. That's what makes it fun. The average mentality of his fans was awkwardly highlighted in his Fan Review. What a shambles. While it shows how bad the fans can be, it holds Rolfe up as the amusing genius he is.

That was the most painful AVGN I've ever watched. Really bad. It reminds me of one of the really early ones, which were just one continuous overly-loud cursing session with side helpings of animal waste references.

Enough about him though. Spoony is the reason for this post. I only discovered his greatness the other day, so perhaps you all already know about him, but from the YouTube stats there's a good chance at least a few of you are missing out on some truly amusing reviews.

I started off with his The Thing review and was pretty much hooked straight away. When one of his troops is river-dancing truly had me in tears, I could barely breathe for how much I was laughing.

Lately he's been releasing a series of video commentaries while playing through Phantasmagoria 2: A Puzzle of Flesh. He's not finished yet, but so far there's around 15 different parts to it, documenting his frustrations with the FMV-fest adventure game from way-back.

It's been a lot of fun watching these. Combined, they're really long, over an hour or 2 even when they aren't finished, but it's been worth every second. Half of it's not even complaining about the game, it's just his frankly hilarious observations and comments.

Just give a few videos a watch. It's like AVGN with less annoyingly long-winded insults, and more amusing content.

Recommended watching at spoonyexperiment.com: the X-Files, The Thing, Demolition Man and the Phantasmagoria 2 series.

NFS: Undercover. Wish I were UnderABus?

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:41:48 -0500

Need for Speed Undercover is a game that I would like to love. I've skipped on quite a few NFS titles now (everything after Hot Pursuit 2, I think), so came into this title probably a little too high on nostalgic expectation. Probably not the best way to go into it.

Can't be arsed to read all of the below? Just scroll to the end of the article for your tl:dr fix.

Hello Bloom, Goodbye Performance

After reading a few thoughts on the last NFS offering, it seems that perhaps I would not be so let down by NFS: U if I had taken the time to play Pro Street. Gradual lowering of expectations for a series, it seems.

So, going into this with high hopes, I found myself racing around in a functional if a bit fugly racer.

I'm the sort of gamer who would prefer my PC to survive the gaming experience, so I usually just leave the graphical settings at default or even sometimes lower them when I feel I would rather have a few more frames per second instead of bloom. NFS: U actually made me throw the resolution up to 1600 by 1200 on my monitor.

If the graphics aren't going to look good, and the frames are going to be unstable anyway, I may as well up the resolution and at least avoid a few more jaggies. I put them up because with my x2 5200, 8800gt graphics card and 2gb of DDR2 memory, this game plays shockingly whatever settings I use. The cars look nice, but that's about as far as it goes.

I think the theory was that you'll be going at 120mph half the time anyway, so heaps of motion blur will take care of the graphics after that. It does not though. It's just so noticeable when a shadow on a guard rail at the side of the road is magically expanding as I'm driving along.

I'm not a graphics ho though. I can forgive tiny things like that. Framerate issues not so much though.

Sorry, you'll have to speak up

Moving past the poor performance: there's lots of car modding, racing, bizarrely quiet cutscenes and cops. The only part I've really enjoyed is playing with the police, and wishing I could just be one instead.

You play as an undercover cop that is slowly but surely infiltrating a gang of ... oh I don't flaming know. I've played this game so much over the last few days but I just don't care. Every time a cutscene came up I just mashed the buttons on my GFW 360 controller. Annoyingly that did nothing, so I was forced to sit through them.

What sort of a reviewer am I if I don't pay attention to the story, eh. Boo! Hiss! A really bored one. There's only so many poorly-lit close-up leg, breast and lip shots I can take before I just stop paying attention altogether, knowing that nothing anyone says (not that I could ever hear them) is of any consequence, it's all just done so that the boy-racers have something smexy to look at from time to time. If you're into bad actors, that is.

The first crim you're tasked with busting also dresses like Kyle Justin, of Angry Video Game Nerd theme tune fame, so it's hard to take anything seriously when you have "he's gonna take you back to the past," playing in your head the entire time he's on screen.

And that's the only thing that was in my head during these cutscenes, because it seems someone forgot to place a microphone in the same room as they were filming them. Maybe I just listen to things too quietly to avoid brumbrum overkill headaches, but when I can hear engines and all out of cutscene speech fine, but am forced into turning up my sound hugely just to be able to hear worthless minutes of bad acting, I tend not to even bother.

On the upside sound wise, I really enjoy the police radio that plays when you're in a pursuit. It's completely convincing (to a non-cop, I suppose) and really adds to the immersion when you hear the police complaining that you're a maniac who's trying to run them off the road.

Vroooooooom

Racing is fun for the most part. The only real problems I have with it are some decidedly sloppy controls on some of the cars, even at low speeds. Maybe it's meant to feel like that with some of the bigger American ones, but I don't appreciate having to very gently tap the analogue stick in order to get them to turn without going into a skid.

It actually feels a lot like when I tried to play DiRT with a keyboard. Tap tap tap, tap tap tap, tap tap tap, or else your car swerved like a drunk driver all the time.

I get that on keyboard though. You have to make exceptions when you're playing a game that isn't designed to work all that well with a controller that has only 2 settings: turn and don't turn.

I think the main problem with the racing in this NFS is that I never really felt as if I needed to do any of the modding to the cars in order to win races at all. I've always enjoyed progression in my games. I've always enjoyed winning races that I know I'm only winning because of skill (and occasionally ramming people) in games like Gran Turismo. I also don't mind losing when I know that their cars totally outclass mine. What I do sorta mind is this tailoring that the game seems to do. Opponent cars seem to be altered to suit the car that I'm travelling in.

This is something I hate in all game genres. Monster scaling.

Games should become more difficult the further into them that you get. You should be able to go back to easier areas if you feel you can't win in the current one. That's the way games should be. Not this hand-holding nonsense where you're never challenged, or in a constant state of medium difficulty.

Oh well.

Police, Camera, Action!

The most fun for me from this game is found in the missions that involve police by default. Cost to state, where you endeavour to cause a target amount of damage before the end of a timer; Escape, where you attempt to lose the police by putting enough distance between you and them, before the end of a timer; and Cop Takeout where you have to disable a certain number of police cruisers before (you guessed it) the end of a timer.

I can understand the need for (oh god) speed when it comes to designing missions. Adding a time limit adds a modicum of tension to what could otherwise be a grind fest, but this backfires a little when the missions can take so long to defeat, depending on how effectively the police decide to keep on your trail after you complete the goal. The mission does not end until the police can't find you anymore, which can sometimes be incredibly annoying.

Often I find myself unable to keep the polices' attention while I'm doing a Cop Takeout mission, yet as soon as I want to avoid them, they bring out the helicopter, super SUVs and Porsche pursuit vehicles that just never stop.

Outside of messing with the pigs, there's Highway Battle which for me is the highlight of the non-police related drive-a-thons (which include circuit racing, checkpoints and outrun, where you have to stay ahead of an opponent for a set amount of time). Speeding up a highway, keeping ahead of your opponent and avoiding the traffic makes this the only non-police mission that I would ever take as anything but a last resort.

So NFS: Undercover; a strangely broken game engine that offers up some fun at times, but fails to capture any sense of progression, leading to stale gameplay. On a scale it's average or less. Pick it up cheap in a few months if at all, I suggest.

TLDR

Left 4 Demo

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:10:06 -0500

What are the zombies up to while they're waiting to star in Diablo 3?

It must have been the easiest day at the Valve office when someone suggested this.

"Shall we do a zombie game that our mod community seem to love?"
"I do believe we shall," replied the Boomer -- er - Gabe Newell that is.

Left 4 Dead takes our macabre videogame fascination with the walking dead and gives it the 28 Days Later treatment, as I bet you all know by now.

Brainsssss

The zombies are fast, relentless and generally... not very zombie like as far as my image of what a zombie is. The Resident Evil 2 zombie is the picture I have in my mind. Also the "of the Dead," movie where Noel Edmonds is decapitated by a helicopter and they end up living in a mall springs to mind. They end up using their higher intelligence and mobility to keep away from the zombies for the majority of the movie.

Left 4 Dead takes that image of a zombie and just throws it out the window. Out goes the shambling, moaning, "oh god, we'd better back away from these things, they might get to us in half an hour if we just stand here," feeling and substitutes it for a faster, more modern approach.

It's the same with movies in this day and age. If it's not fast and "in your face" then it's not good enough to sell, it seems. While I disagree with that in the movie world, I quite agree with this approach when it comes to video game zombies. After all, how bad would a zombie survival game be if the Resident Evil 2 opening section "just leg it" approach could be taken throughout. Quite bad I would expect.

Flashlights, Camera, Action!

Left 4 Dead promises fast-paced game play with 4 player survival coop, and some extra stuff like playing as the zombies that they forgot to take out for the super-duper Pre-Order demo, but now it's been unleashed on the general public, that feature has vanished in a puff of horror b-movie smoke.

Moving at relentless zombie horde pace back to what is in the demo, there's a glorious 2 parts of one of the missions, where the survivors must battle their way from the roof of a building to a nearby hospital where a circling helicopter has promised them they will be rescued.

Tailoring the journey especially for you is the AI Director: a feature that is said to make each run through a map unique to the players and their playing style.

It seems to me that the Director takes the approach of "you're taking too long. MORE ZOMBIES!" more often than anything else. The longer you dawdle, the harder you'll find it. You end up facing too many zombies while not progressing towards health and ammunition, which is a real killer in this game.

I get the feeling that who you're playing with will dictate the experience you have more than anything else. I can imagine this game growing stale very quickly if played with the same 3 people over and over. It's playing with complete strangers with unpredictable levels of experience in the game that will keep it fresh.

Certainly so far I've enjoyed the differing experiences that playing with pros and complete incompetents brings. The only people I've had a problem with is those who randomly attack their own team mates. While these have been few and far between, there's a voting system in place to get rid of them. Which is handy, unless there's 2 of them, where each vote then ends in stalemate.

Bandages, Stat!

Probably one of the neatest things in the game apart from the intense zombie slaughtering, is the way in which the game handles life and death. You get a certain number of knock-downs, in which other players can revive you. During your down time you take out your pistol and defend yourself from those malicious face-kicking zombies. If the zombies manage to take out your rather generous knock-down health here, you die.

After so many revives you get a final life where a colour-shift seems to heighten your sense of sight somewhat. If you're knocked down during this you're dead. Gone. Until players come to a rescue point, where they rescue another version of the character, forgetting their mournful sobs after your death and welcoming this clone into their party with no questions asked whatsoever.

Okay it's a bit dumb, but it keeps the game from becoming a quit fest when people die. Help is just around the corner, but getting there a man or two down is a task in itself.

If you all go down, you start back at the last safe room. Safe rooms function as Left 4 Dead's checkpoint system.

The revive system also gives the game a sense of comradeship, with players having to help each other when they're down, and others covering their backs.

Sometimes you have to make the tough decision to leave someone down to die while covering someone else while they revive another player, but that just adds to the sense of excitement. It's tough to really describe the attraction of this game -- it's one that's much better played. Or at least watched.

Verdict

It's a fun-packed zombie shooter that puts a tick in a lot of my boxes. It's a zombie mod with a heap of polish that just works.

While it's still obviously the Source engine behind it, the art direction is spot on for a cinematic horror survival experience, and the flashlight seems to have come on leaps and bounds since its last outing.

While I'm not big on scores, this is certainly a game that at least deserves that you play the demo if this sounds even remotely interesting to you.

Good Old Games

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 04:24:15 -0500

Has anyone not heard of Good Old Games, yet? Basically, it's a new website that offers some of the best old games around for a low price. Lost that favourite classic and need your fix? GOG! Looking to get into some 90s retro gaming? GOG! Hate the idea of DRM spoiling your memories? No probs, GOG games come without!

Okay, okay, enough of the advertisement and to the meat of this post. Is there anything decent at Good Old Games? Like any distribution system, it has its fair share of brilliant games, and the ones it obviously hopes to trick people into buying.

Let's kick off, shall we?

Sensible Soccer 2006

Oh god. Good Old Games? Really? It's a total of what, 3 years old at most if you take into account a 2006 labeled game was most likely made and published in 2005? I think they're pushing 'old' slightly here.

With old out of the way, is It good? Not from what I remember. It's lost all the charm of the ridiculous nature of Sensible Soccer in the transition to 3D. You might be able to do banana shots still, but in 3D it just doesn't feel right. Any of it.

Good: No. Old: No. Game: I suppose.

Jagged Alliance

If you saw my other post about the DS version of Jagged Alliance, you might have noticed that I'm a tiny bit excitable when it comes to Jagged Alliance.

You know how long I spent on the first level of Jagged Alliance? Entirely too long! I spent days of my free time looking for that damn Micro Filter or whatever it was on the first map, before learning that if you went to the sides of the map the Traverse to Sector option would appear.

I was so excited to be facing off against actual opponents and didn't care that they were slowly killing off my mercs. I was just so happy to have found my way off the first map. I was around 9 or 10 at the time, I think, so you'll understand.

While lacking the graphics of its younger, sleeker brother Jagged Alliance 2, the original JA was great. Fighting my way across that island is one of the greatest gaming memories I have. I would pay the $10 for it on GOG if not for the fact that I still have the CD kicking around.

Jagged Alliance: Deadly Games

No. Bad Jagged Alliance! This one, unlike the original, is just a big pile of awful. I remember being so disappointed by this after hassling my parents for it. Please please please please. Oh god is this IT?!

In essence, it's some weird LAN version of the original Jagged Alliance, with the emphasis seeming to be on building your own maps rather than playing the game.

There's no storyline that I can remember, and not even a map. From what I recall you just played through a series of lifeless enemy encounters and that was it.

I never played the multiplayer (if it was actually multiplayer, I don't quite remember) on account of not having the internet back then, so perhaps that was what makes this a Good Old Game.

My advice: stick with the original offering.

Ghost Master

I'm not sure if I would pay $10 to play this again. It's a fun game where you lead a group of ghosts, gremlins, spooks and whatnot through various haunting activities.

It's a fun game, but it's one of the most repetitious that I remember. The first level is a tutorial which demonstrates pretty much what you'll be doing through the entire game. Just scaring people and freeing trapped ghosts if they're around. While this is fun for about the first 3 levels, and each is a unique and interesting setting, the only thing that really changes is that. Aesthetics.

Gameplay remains the same throughout and will bore your socks off after a while, unless you're so into routine that it does not bother you.

From what I remember, this game employs the Sims engine, so it's alright to look at with pretty 3D graphics that look ok even today.

Would I recommend it? Nah, I think I would give this one a miss due to the repetitive nature.

Fallout 1, Fallout 2

I'll just group these 2 together as I could go on and on and on about them. Great turn-based combat RPGs from the turn of the century. These are the original. The greats. Post apocalypse at its finest, as far as I'm concerned.

Whether the original Vault Dweller in Fallout 1, or his ancestor in the 2nd, these games have a retro 50s future feel to them that is said to have inspired BioShock in its art direction.

While I utterly recommend playing these for their story and depth, if you're a newcomer to the series the combat can be a little tedious and unforgiving, especially if you're used to the games of today.

If you stick with it, though, you're in for a treat with both of these. If you're not a fan of games with depth though (and quite a bit of reading), you're probably better off avoiding.

Fallout Tactics

Fallout fans seem to hate this one. I class myself as a Fallout fan but I forgive this game for being a little on the shallow, weirdly un-fallout side because it's a fun game in its own right.

It substitutes deep storyline for action with a real-time combat engine. A lot of post-apocalyptic fun to be had with this one.

Freespace 2

I borrowed this one off of a friend and was incredibly reluctant to give it back. While I enjoy space combat simulations to this day, this one is what introduced me to them.

The combat is fast, fun, and makes you feel like you're just a part of something bigger, while at the same time making you feel every bit the hero. Defend the fleet from the invading Shivan battle force, and even go toe-to-toe with the almighty SJ-Sathanas. The battles were epic (overused word these days, but they really were), if a little frustrating at times.

End

Well, that's my round-up of the games of GOG that I can give my opinion on. The rest of them there are some names that -- while I recognize them -- I don't have enough experience with to really have an opinion. Things like MDK and Redneck Rampage. I played them but can't remember enough to give any sort of advice regarding them.

While I've not purchased anything from them (on account of keeping my own Good Old Games from yesteryear in good condition), maybe one of you have?

Leave a comment if you have experience with buying on Good Old Games, I'm sure people would be interested in knowing if that's a smooth operation. Also any of the other games on the site that you remember fondly, or hated with a passion?

Far Cry 2: Setting Fire to My Heart

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 04:22:05 -0500

In my opinion Far Cry 2 drops the ball on quite a few things. It drops the ball, chops it up with a machete, urinates on it, and then sets it on fire. But boy does it set it on fire beautifully.

Gamasutra recently ran an interview with Jean-Francois Lévesque, chief fire-starter over at Ubisoft Montreal which reminded me of a video I was making that highlights some of the issues and amusing things I noticed in my time with Far Cry 2 on the PC.

While none of these issues are game-ruining at all, I think the fantastic fire serves as illumination to the various downfalls in the game. So in no particular order, my Far Cry 2 hot and cold points.

Hawt

Perhaps to avoid confusing the two factions in Far Cry 2, everyone is your enemy. That is disappointing to me, as it guarantees that every checkpoint you get to is going to be a fight.

Even if it's not going to happen often, I like it in games when I get somewhere and I actually have to think. Are these people friendly? Maybe I can trade with them. Perhaps they will have a quest for me. What if I don't kill them, maybe there's another way to do this.

Not in Far Cry 2, which is a shame. I can't really think of a real FPS where that has been the case, but one day it would be nice.

In Conclusion

So there we have it. My loves and hates for Far Cry 2. My overall opinion? It's a great game that has perhaps a little too much repetition, but not on a hugely annoying scale. Constantly respawning checkpoints is a nuisance, but in general, the game is great.

While I feel it could have benefited from some of the explosive over-the-top antics of Mercenaries 2 at times, it's certainly a much more polished offering, so I'll forgive it.

Jagged Alliance traversing to the DS

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:10:46 -0500

Making my way across the twisty river-side path that is the Internet earlier today, I stumbled upon screenshots for Jagged Alliance on the DS. Whaaaa? I thought, before checking for screenshots at other locations and the words "Jagged Alliance DS Cancelled" just to make sure.

Strangely enough, it does seem to have been cancelled at least once back in 2005, but this new set of screenshots and a press announcement 2 months ago about a 2009 release seem current enough to get excited about.

Â
Source: Portable Gaming Revolution

Sooo. Zomg Jagged Alliance on the go? Lets hope this time it remembered to put on its metal plate reinforced kevlar vest, and that the evil minions of Cancel don't know how to fashion a silencer out of a simple steel rod!

Fallout 3, one of the best games ever made?

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 00:50:34 -0500

Are people who review video games the most easily impressed people on earth? Having logged a fair few hours in the game world of Fallout 3, venturing from location to location, being generally impressed by Bethesda's offering, is it really a 9.0, or even a 10?

Combat Woes

The first thing that strikes me as being a full point off is the combat. It jams together a first person perspective with a stats system that served its purpose in a turn based combat engine. In real-time, it's frustrating and clunky. VATs itself is an interesting system, but for me, it's not enough.

They needed to go one way or the other in this respect. Combining stats with what is effectively a first-person shooter is a barmy decision as far as I'm concerned.

I'll write a full review when I'm done with it, highlighting the good and the bad, but for now, I feel I had to express my disbelief at games reviewers and their incredibly forgiving views.